With divorce rates hovering around 50% for first marriages, it is no secret that creating a lasting marriage can take some work. We recently conducted one of the largest national marriage surveys ever completed, collecting responses from over 50,000 married couples. After analyzing the results, we were able to identify the top 5 predictors of happy marriages. But we were also able to identify common issues which seem to challenge all couples. These results are summarized in the book, The Couple Checkup.
Common Issues for all Married Couples
In 76% of marriages, one or both spouses said, "I wish my partner were more willing to share his/her feelings."
69% of couples report, "I sometimes have difficulty asking my partner for what I want."
72% of the time, one or both spouses said, "I wish my partner was more careful about spending money."
A full 71% of couples report, "We have trouble saving money."
68% of those surveyed said, "I am dissatisfied with the amount of affection I receive from my partner."
66% of married couples express concern about "differing levels of sexual interest."
82% of married couples report, "Having children has reduced our marital satisfaction."
This may be caused in part by the fact that 64% of couples say, "My partner focuses more on the children than on our marriage."
87% of couples indicate, "My partner is sometimes too stubborn."
83% of the time, one or both report, "My partner is too negative or critical."
In 78% of marriages, one or both partners, "go out of their way to avoid conflict."
77% of couples say, "We have different ideas about the best way to solve our disagreements."
Communication, money, sex . . . these are common issues for all couples. If you are struggling in your marriage, you may be tempted to believe you're the only one who feels the way you do. Be assured, you are not alone; all couples have challenges they need to overcome.
The Couple Checkup The Couple Checkup inventory and Discussion Guide have been designed to help you identify, understand, and deal with ongoing issues, so you can begin the process of healing. The online Couple Checkup will automatically adjust the content to match your relationship stage and family structure, providing you with the most relevant content for your marriage. The inventory will help you identify not only your issues, but also your relationship strengths. You can then use your strengths to begin rebuilding your marriage.
There's a reason doctors start with assessment. By taking your temperature, blood pressure, or an x-ray, they begin to understand what's below the surface. Once they understand the issues, they can make treatment recommendations with confidence. The Couple Checkup Report gives you the feedback you need to find direction and start the healing process in your marriage.
No healing process is quick or easy. You have to dedicate yourselves to working on your marriage relationship. Some couples will improve as they take responsibility for their own behavior and build their relationship skills through the Couple Checkup process. Others may find they need additional help through marriage counseling. To find a PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator in your area who can help you unpack your Couple Checkup results in a safe environment, click Find a Facilitator and specify "counselor" in your search query.